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The last post I’d written was when I was in a training. After that, I’ve been busy, well didn’t find time to sit n write at least.
Here I am , posting again.. and you guessed right.. I’m in training again. This time the trainer hasn’t turned up yet.. been waiting for more than 40 mins.

Nyways.. there are a lot of updates .. lot’s been happening in Wella-land..

Firstly, I’m sad to report that the chai-gang has almost disbanded. No more strutting out at 4 o ‘ clock sharp. We do go out, but it’s been long since the whole gang was out together. I really miss the madness!!!!! 


PJ King has been blessed with a super-cute baby girl. We hope she gets the gift of his PJ-cracking too.

The Lord is now a proud owner of a Baleno.

And no, neither of them has given us a party yet!!

Drama Queen got promoted as a team lead. No don’t get wrong ideas, she didn’t become vain n arrogant at all. She isn’t ignoring us commoners either. But nowadays, she prefers to be with her team- a gang of married old ladies (swapping sad house-hold stories).

The team Lord, Bholu and I are in, and which was popular for its jobless-ness has been flooded with work, surprising everyone.

Chota Chimney, a part of the chai gang, had an accident and is convalescing. He’s hating every minute of being tied down in the name of bed-rest. I tried to give him a li’l philosophy like..” everything happens for a reason” ..and stuff, but had to stop when he looked he might slap/kill me.

Bada chimney is leaving Wella-land shortly and embarking on an educational journey. Guess where? Goa!!! OK, don’t laugh. Who knows, he might get a little bit of studying done too, apart from… ahem.. u kno what they do in Goa.. :D

Ikyaavan has suddenly become an angry young man, wearing a frustrated look a lot these days, scaring his poor neighbor who claims she’s too scared to even talk to him these days. We wonder why. I have my suspicions, but considering the circumstances, it’d b wise of me to shut up.

Grapevine’s been buzzing dat a certain highly-placed sumone in Wella-land, has been on an official tour (vacation?) with a certain charming lady, and he claims he enjoyed the tour a lot. Ahem! The gossip-mongers are speculating about what might have happened there, but let’s not talk abt it.

Nothing much happening in wella-land, worth mentioning.. so adios!

Uh-Oh!

Remember that scene in that awfully long movie ‘Jodha Akbar’? no, not the sword scene whr Hrithik shows off his upper bod .. (sigh! D memory of dat made me lose my train of thought ).. Ahem!.. nyways..

I was talking abt dat scene whr d emperor enters the marketplace disguised as a common man? And gets abused?

Something similar happened in our Wella-land recently. The ruler-in-chief of Wella-land made a sojourn into a corner of Wella-land looking for a guy X. Not finding him there, he asked his neighbour Ms. Uh-oh about him. Now, poor Ms. Uh-oh was new to Wella-land and hence was not familiar with the big blue ruler. She paused, looks at him from head-to-toe and perhaps thought he was no one of importance. (At this point, I wonder what exactly was he wearing that day?) She then turned her attention back to her work and said in a don’t-carish tone “ I don’t know whr he is” .. Big blue must’ve been a little miffed by this, but he continued.. “ can you tell him that I was looking for him?” .. and
Gasp! you know what happened then??? She said , (not even sparing him a look) “OK, but what’s your name?”

I can’t even imagine the fury, the agony, the pain that big blue must’ve endured in that fateful moment. His own subject asking him for a name. Drama Queen says he looked quite murderous that minute and kinda shoved his ID in her face or something. Later, after she was enlightened on his position in the kingdom, she was embarrassed and quite flustered.

Now we wait to see what will the consequences be? Will he give a gracious smile and forgive, like Hrithik does in that movie, or are we going to witness a massacre in the streets of Wella-land?

I dunno… and I won’t bother to find out and let you know.

Visitors to Wella-land

Last week, there was a lot of buzz in Wella-land. A bunch of Wella-ppl had come from a far away land to visit Wella-land and everyone in Wella-land went bonkers!
The rulers of Wella-land went a little weird and thought of strange things with no rhyme or reason; and we poor subjects, had to follow them without question. And we continue to do that, thoughtlessly.. duno whether we are too shy to say something or too indifferent to what’s happening.

Some of us are too baffled by our own lives to take an interest in the surroundings. We go to work, we work and we leave. But no, not the ‘chai-gang’.. we do have an opinion abt everything.. trust me.. EVERYTHING.. and that’s always voiced at the little chai place.. usually amidst peals of raucous laughter!!

On the D-day, when the wella-ppl came down, the floor was decorated with Rangolis, garlands n stuff, like straight out of a Bollywood marriage scene. As our Drama Queen said.. “the only thing missing was a bunch of dancing girls”. The inhabitants of Wella-land were all dressed up in a weird attire, d guys in “pizza- boy-like” t-shirts and the rulers- well, guess they were debating whether to come in informal or formal attire, and ended up wearing a bit of both.. The ladies, well , we are a dignified lot and were dressed accordingly.

After a week of decorations, debates, firing of think tanks and a lottt of hulla-baloo, the Wella-ppl, came and the Wella-ppl left. Nothing happened. They just strolled around with the rulers tailing them faithfully. That was that…


COMING UP IN THE NEXT POST..

ALL THE CHARACTERS OF WELLA-LAND UNVIELED..


Watch this space!!

Introduction to PJs..

Now our PJ king, fondly referred to as Bhoot Unkle ( never mind the reason), is a happy-go-lucky soul who incessantly cracks PJs.

Let me make it clear to the un-enlightened souls…. PJs are Pyjama jokes or poor jokes which might appeal to your funny side, but are so profoundly silly that people might groan instead of laughing.

And bhoot unkle’s jokes are a li’l different.. sometimes they make you laugh out loud, specially me and our Drama queen burst out laughing barbarically, oblivious to the fact that we are in civilized company… at other times, the “jokes” are so mind-boggling that you look around dumbly, hoping that somebody has understood and would shed some light on it..

Examples:

Random guy: Bhoot unkle, I’m going to the ATM.. it’s quite far..

Bhoot Unkle: r u going to ATM or BTM?

Explanation: BTM is an area in Bangalore..

Still didn’t get it? Forget it.. and move on with ur lives..


Another:

Random person: Unkle, Whatever you had covered in ABC training, the same thing is being repeated in the XYZ training.

Bhoot Unkle: oh, tell the trainer that you’ve already finished it.
PEAT IT BEFORE HE CAN RE-PEAT IT!!!


C ya later.. ciao

classroom

Whenever I’m in a classroom, I always wonder if I have an attention deficit disorder! Never have been able to focus for more than 10 mins. There’s a classroom training going on in Wella-land- THREE continuous hours of classroom!

Me being the chronic back-bencher found the farthest corner of the room. I made an honest effort to listen, but the whole universe conspired to distract me- people walking in late, someone fidgeting with the AC remote, people making such silly remarks that I was forced to ponder over the profound stupidity of the human brain..

The session went on and on and on and on, punctuated with random snatches of unrelated conversations and some very pathetic attempts at humor. The ‘classroom’ feel was enhanced when Sher Khan (named so because of his obsession for tigers) walked in half an hour late and said in a very apologetic tone “Sorry for being late!”.. and I was thinking “Itna polite tho hum school me bhi nahi the…!”

I kinda paid attention for a considerable time but towards the end the old school and college instinct kicked in, and I found myself insanely wondering “when will the bell ring???” . Meanwhile Bholu, who was sitting next to me, was almost snoring softly..

Well, I’m signing off with a fervent prayer to the Gods to give me the patience to survive the remaining days of the torture..err.. training!

Random happening

Random happening:

A few days ago, I walked into Wella-land expecting another regular day, but no, the fates had a treat in mind. As I walked in, Random Guy came up to me and said “Bholu left his certi in the Xerox room.. could you give it to him?” and he was a li’l puzzled to see a wicked grin flash on my face…”Aahaa!” I thought..

After a while, Bholu walked in and I, along wih my partners in crime Drama Queen and Boost, had some sadistic pleasure watching bholu searching frantically for his certi. Finally called him and asked “Have you lost something??” in a phony cheerful tone which made him realize that we had something to do with it… “OK.” He said in a resigned tone.. “what do you guys want”??.

“one phone call”

I said while Drama Queen looked on with a wicked gleam in her eyes..

“what phone call?”

“Dominoooos” we crooned..


Half an hour later, DQ, Boost, Random Guy, Bholu and I were feasting on CheeseBurst Pizza, pasta and chocoLava cakes…

Then we headed down and gave Bholu his certi amidst much cheering and applause..almost like another convocation..

Ain’t we sweet????

4 o clock..

Chai time..

As the minutes hand inches towards 12, with the hours hand pointing at 4, the biological clock goes ‘Tong” and our heads scan the floor left to right, looking for our chai-buddies. Chalo is the only invitation required as the Biharis, Bongs and a gult strut towards the exit, dark minds trooping along , in the quest for some wicked laughs at the expense of some other poor dears..

With our eyes lit up, wicked grins in place, the gang royally stride down to the ‘chai ki dukaan’ outside the gates of blue world to enjoy the Best Time Of The Day!!


PS: there's a Rajasthani dude too, but the name bongs biharis and a gult and a rajashtani was like... too long , so with respect to this blog, let's make him a bong! :)

I'll introduce the whole paltan shortly... Watch this space!!

Bongs, Biharis and a Gult!!!

Nestled deep within a big blue world, there’s a small place called Wella-land, existing in near anonymity, in the southern part of Benga-town..
Wella-land is full of nice, gentle people who lead peaceful happy lives. There’s never any trouble, no sign of chaos, never any fights and never too much work to do. In short, it’s a Pleasantville.

Or so I thought.. in the first couple of months of my stay here..
Well, one thing I was right about.. there’s never too much work to do.. and yes, we love that part..

But there’s a lot of drama, nasty fights, love, hatred, enemies, friends, dark secrets, madness and chaos here. There’s a PJ king, a drama queen, a court jester, a few chimneys, a cute guy with a firangi accent, a dormant volcano, some dirty minds, some happy-go-lucky souls, some frustrated people who’re eager to get out, a couple of chatterboxes.. and the list goes on..

At the centre stage of all the action is a group of chai-buddies! I say centre stage, not because they have any power or influence or any stature what-so-ever in Wella-land, but only because all that’s going to unfold here, will be seen from the perspective of this bunch of awesome people..
Bongs, Biharis and a Gult!!!